It's no secret that I do a lot of reading. I pick up things here and there, sometimes from the NY Times Best Sellers List, sometimes from a recommendation from a friend, and sometime's I'll just buy a book if it's under $3 there's not much to lose if it's not good, and it's still usually more rewarding than watching bad tv. One of the cheap books I stumbled on that I figured I would give a shot was a first time author that wrote a memoir of her time she spent abroad in college living with a French family. The subject matter immediately appealed to me, having lived abroad myself in college and also in love with French culture and Paris.
While it certainly wasn't the best book I've ever read, I took it for what it was an anecdotal story about this author's time in Paris. It wasn't meant to be about all French women or families, it was just things that she had observed. I think there was some great observations that def have some truth in them and can also simplify live to live a more elegant and simple life, which is also something that appeals to me. I'm not saying I agree with 100% of everything she recommends or mentions below but I certainly think there is some merit to a lot of her ideas.
I thought it was worth exploring or mentioning the different lessons that are included in the book. She goes into a lot more details and examples in the book of course, but here is a summary
20 Lessons From Madame Chic
1- Snacking is So Not Chic
Boost the quality of the meals you do have to reduce the craving for snack foods. Make dining well a priority. When you do snack- pick only high quality foods. Never settle. Never eat while walking, driving or standing. Avoid eating on the go at all costs. Allow yourself to feel a little bit of hunger to build up a healthy appetite. Stay hydrated throughout the day with water. And remember: mindless snacking is so not chic!
2—Deprive Yourself Not
Develop a positive attitude towards food and eating. Cultivate your passion for fine food and have fun discussing it! Be mindful and present when eating all meals. Employ the delicacy technique to create a special dining experience no matter what the circumstance. Whether you are having a tuna sandwich or a Gruyere soufflé, make sure the presentation of your food is enticing. Employ moderation and restraint while on holiday or at the buffet (in the long run, you will be glad you did). Strive to only eat quality food. Above all…enjoy your meals! We spend so much of our lives eating. Revel in it- have fun and take pleasure in the dining experience.
3- Exercise is Incorporated into Everyday Life
Incorporate exercise into your day by infusing it into daily tasks (like grocery shopping and doing household chores). Develop a positive body image- focus on the good things about your body. Create an active challenge for yourself every day. Park your car as far away as possible from your destination to encourage more walking. Get the dog out and go on a walk- choose a new route every day so you don’t get bored. Always take the stairs in lieu of the elevator. Do leg lifts while watching TV. Explore alternative forms of exercise such as yoga, tai chi or chi gong. In short, don’t be stagnant. If you are open and creative, you can incorporate into almost every aspect of your daily routine as a compliment to, or in lieu of working out in a gym. Make your leisure time more active. And most importantly, never be lazy! Laziness is so not chic.
4- 10 Item Wardrobe
Clear out the clutter in your wardrobe- be brutal! Store away any seasonal clothes that are not relevant for the current season. Commit to doing the 10 Item Wardrobe experiment for a set period of time (I did one month). Pick and choose your 10 items (remember these do not include outerwear, occasionwear, accessories, shoes and layering shirts). After doing the strict experiment note what works and does not work for you and add or subtract items as needed. Most importantly…enjoy the process. The whole point of the exercise is to bring you to a place of loving every item in your wardrobe and always having something appropriate and presentable to wear.
5- Find Your True Style
Only wear clothes because you love them, they look great on you and speak to who you are as a person. Define your true style to help guide you when shopping. Think of how you want to present yourself to the world every time you get dressed. Listen to your gut instinct about your style. Deep down you know if something works or doesn’t work.
6- Le No Makeup Look
Come up with a low maintenance no makeup look for everyday wear to always look your best. Go with the au natural look for fresh faced beauty. Use the defined eye technique for a bit of natural drama. Wear the defined lip look when feeling whimsical or romantic. Tailor your application time to your schedule. Keep your outfits and daily activities in mind when deciding on what makeup to wear. Consult professionals whenever possible to pick the most flattering shades for your skin tone. Use a finishing spray to keep your makeup in place (touching up your makeup in public is so not chic!) Have fun experimenting and don’t forget to change things up every now and then…
7- Skin Care
Make water your main beverage of the day- limiting your intake of caffeine and alcohol. Manage your stress levels. When you feel stress creeping up, lighten things up! Get regular massages from a professional masseuse or a loved one. Consult professionals and get regular facials if they are in your budget or give yourself a facial at home. Do your research and purchase the best products for your budget. Protect your skin by always wearing sunscreen (and don’t forget your neck, shoulders, arms and hands!) And most importantly, no matter what state your skin is in, strive to be comfortable in it. Doing so works wonders for attractiveness.
8- Look Presentable Always
Dress presentably on a daily basis to honor yourself and those around you. Remember first impressions are terribly important. Don’t tempt yourself to be frumpy. Throw out or give away any clothes that are not up to par. Check yourself from all angles before leaving the house. Dress beautifully when you travel to heighten the atmosphere and encourage upgrades. Never save your best clothes for ‘later’. Wear them today. What are you waiting for? Chose a haircut that is easily styled and that fits into your lifestyle. Good grooming is imperative. When bathing in Paris avoid leaving the blinds up unless you want to be admired by a Parisian window washer!
9- The Art of Femininity
Cultivate good posture and constantly check yourself until it comes naturally to you. Explore the world of perfume and either choose a signature scent or a capsule perfume wardrobe. Delight in the process as perfume is one of the great joys in life! Strive to always have well groomed nails- whether they are just buffed and filed or elaborately polished. Healthy hair in an attractive style does wonders for femininity. The intangible aspects of femininity like self confidence, a sense of humor and adventure are the most important- never lose sight of these things.
10- Only Use The Best Things You Have
Only use the best you have on a daily basis. Elevate mealtimes by using your best dishes, glasses, napkins and tablecloths. Arrange a special floral bouquet or cook a fancy dish to mark special occasions. Use the best rooms in your home and avoid saving them for special occasions or certain guests. You deserve to use the best parts of your home every day! Clear out and de-clutter your home and only own the best things you have. When making purchases only buy the best you can afford- always take your budget into consideration to avoid living beyond your means. Use your best manners on a daily basis, especially with those closest to you. Practice the art of living well every day- even when you are alone. Doing so allows you to develop a taste for fine living.
11- Life as a Formal Affair
Add as many formal aspects into your life as you desire to live well. Create formal rituals and traditions in your family to enrich everyday life. Mind your manners and take the high road always. Practice formal etiquette, even when dining alone, to make mealtime special. Dress appropriately for every occasion and remember it is better to be overdressed than underdressed. Cultivate your love of classical music and have it playing throughout your day. Write more letters- think how thrilled the recipient will be! Boost your vocabulary by incorporating new words into your speech to avoid language becoming too casual. Tailor what living life as a formal affair means to you and your family and delight in it!
12- Clutter-free Home (or Clutter is So Not Chic)
Which areas of your home require de-cluttering. Be honest with yourself. Tackle each clutter hot spot slowly and don’t take on more than you can handle in any given de-cluttering session. Cut down on how much you bring into the home. Only go shopping for things you really need. Figure out a system that works for the other people in your home. Make sure everyone is on board with your plan. Deal with things like filing and mail as soon as possible to avoid clutter catastrophes. Live a structured life at home and be strict with yourself about keeping everything in its place.
13- Seek Out the Arts
Totally immerse yourself in the arts to live a culturally fulfilling life. Play music throughout your day as a soundtrack to your life. Keep au courant with your local museum’s latest art exhibits. Attend theatre regularly- whether you patronize large scale productions or local independent endeavors. Bring the arts into your home and get your friends involved. Become an artist yourself- pick up an instrument, write that book you’ve always wanted to write, audition for your local play or get out the paint brushes. Relish the process and get creative!
14- Cultivate an Air of Mystery
Guard your words and never over-talk. Maintain your vital energy levels and only speak when necessary. Avoid telling people your life story when you first meet them. Instead talk about things like: art, philosophy or current events- make yourself interesting so they wonder about you. Keep the romance alive in your relationship by not discussing every mundane detail of your daily life. Your husband does not need to hear about your laser hair removal session. When grooming, always do it behind closed doors. Your lover does not need to know how you look so good- he just needs to know that you do, in fact, look good! Become comfortable with silence. Have one or two trusted friends to share your intimate secrets with. Learn to receive compliments graciously. And remember (not just in France, but wherever you are) never ask someone what they ‘do’ for a living.
15- The Art of Entertaining
No matter what sort of entertaining you are doing- be a confident hostess. This is what your guests want. Even if you don’t feel confident, fake it until it comes naturally to you. Put an effort into your appearance. Go with what you know. A simple meal that tastes good is much better than an elaborate meal with hits and misses (and is much less work…) Remain calm in the event of a catastrophe and always maintain a sense of humor. Resurrect the ritual of the apéritif and adopt your own signature drink (alcoholic or non). If you commit a faux pas, simply laugh it off. We’ve all done it. Create a memorable evening by choosing the right music. And, I’m sure you already know what this last one is going to be…Have fun with it! What is the point of going to all that trouble if you yourself are not going to have a good time?
16- Rejection of New Materialism
Avoid impulse purchases by carrying a list and only paying in cash when doing the daily shopping. Employ and maintain a capsule wardrobe to avoid buying too many clothes. Never let a sales person sway you into purchasing something. Stand firm and let your pride get in the way. Learn to appreciate what you already have. Pause before making any major purchases. Wait a few days and see if you still really want them. Only upgrade your home if you can afford to do so. Analyze your spending habits and take pleasure in what you already have.
17- Cultivate Your Mind
Never let yourself ‘go’ intellectually. Challenge your little grey cells on a daily Read or listen to audio books as much as you can. Seek out independent and/ or foreign films as a refreshing alternative to the typical Hollywood Blockbuster. Subscribe to a newspaper for their special articles and reviews. Be a patron of the arts in whatever field interests you most. Expand your vocabulary and subscribe to a word of the day. Try to use the new words in your everyday speech and avoid bad speech patterns. Watch less television. The less you watch it- the less you miss it. Travel as much as you can- visit places that are out of your comfort zone (though not too far out of your comfort zone- one must be safe!) and learn about new cultures. No matter how old you are take classes in whatever field interests you. Push yourself- it could just change your life.
18—Simple Pleasures
Deriving simple pleasures from the most mundane of things can set you up for a happy and exciting life. Learn how to cope with your Sisyphean tasks and turn them into pleasurable experiences. Adopting a positive outlook on life (no matter what) is key- as is a sense of humor. Employ your senses to derive maximum pleasure out of your experiences. Slow down and try not to rush through your day. Make a concerted effort to be in the present moment until it comes naturally to you. No need for guilty pleasures- pleasure should not make you feel guilty! Enjoy yourself.
19—Quality Above All
to living a life of quality to tune your mind to the concept of fine living. Become more selective of the foods you eat, the clothes you wear and the way you choose to spend your time. Become a connoisseur of fine, specialty food. Be an informed consumer when making purchases-read reviews and research companies and products before buying. Make every experience you have a quality one by adopting a good attitude and sense of humor towards life. Make the time you spend with your family and friends quality time.
Chapter 20- Live a Passionate Life!
Source: Scott, Jennifer L. (2011-12-04). Lessons From Madame Chic: The Top 20 Things I Learned While Living in Paris. Kindle Edition.